The British Cheese Board asked songwriters to compose a national cheddar anthem, and parents complained after chocolates shaped like penises, breasts, and copulating couples were distributed at a Mother’s Day event at a primary school in Woodberry, Australia. “My nine-year-old grandson gave this ziplock bag to me,” reported one attendee, “and said to me, ‘You’ve got a willy in there Nanny.’”

Harper’s Weekly forever. (via annlf)